UPDATE

Things have been crazy lately. I keep blowing off my "friends." I just don't want to hang with them. Even the very sight of them just makes me so angry. They didn't even do anything to me...what's my problem? God, I wish I knew. The world really has a way of getting under my skin, and when I say world, I mean life and people in general. Recently, I have found myself getting more preoccupied with family problems. I haven't heard from, nor have I tried to contact my "boyfriend" in almost two days. I guess I just don't care anymore.

I am always amazed by how some people can live only from a social aspect, and forget all the other things life has to offer. Maybe that's my problem, maybe I actually need to be more sociable. My therapist is always telling me to be confident and walk with my head up, but for me, it is way to hard. I've never been outgoing, nor am I ever going to be. Who am I here to please? My therapist, or myself? Seriously!?

Now here is where things really turn into a disaster. My older brother was having thoughts of suicide. He was in the hospital for what seemed like an entire day. He doesn't know that I know why he was there. My grandma wasn't supposed to tell me, but hey...no one ever said my grandma could keep a secret. So now, things are even worse than before. My brother and my dad are fighting, my mother and I are fighting, and I just really wish I could disappear, or forget everything and buy and ticket to anywhere but this quaint, greedy town. Eventually the memory of me would fade, I'm sure, and everyone would be way better off.

I wish my parents lived in the same house together. I wish things weren't so screwed up right now.
GAH!

#family stress