What a long, boring day it's been. I went to Friendly's for lunch. I hadn't eaten there in almost a year. It feels good to (almost) be the girl I used to be. It seems though, that there is still something missing, like there is a part of me that isn't quite satisfied yet. I often find myself wondering if I'll ever be happy again. I hope I will be soon. This whole self-esteem issue took away so much more than just my confidence. It ruined body (because I was severely disillusioned), it severed some relationships and destroyed the person I thought I was.
I still find myself unable to do things that would attract too much attention to me, I can't handle the fact that one person may not like me. I know that dealing with someone's low opinion of me is a part of life, but I find it hard to not take it personally, and to know that I am great.
Well, I guess I kind of know I'm great sometimes, but the feeling comes and goes if I think someone is looking at me in a negative manner. My problem is I take everything to heart. I don't know why, I just always have. My psychologist says that people are always going to judge a person based on what they see from the outside, that's just what we humans do now. We're all way too superficial, and that's our nations biggest down fall. Maybe someday, we'll all get some sense knocked into us.
Anorexia Nervosa kills several hundreds of people every year in the United States alone.
If you or someone you know has Anorexia, please visit:
This a support site. NOT PROANA.
The blog's author is in recovery herself.
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