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I wish my mother had fucked Brad Pitt, that way we could be finished in this town, and I'd feel like I had the right to boast about something. Not to mention, Brad Pitt is adorable. That helps a lot too. It wouldn't be much differrent though, my mother already has a "Sugar Daddy."

Yesterday, my mother found out her beloved fiance's "Doctors appointment" was actually him sneaking around on her with another chick.
WORD TO THE WISE:
If you're going to cheat, and you know that your significant other is going to be around, make sure your clearly state where you're supposed to meet and when. If you don't, chances are, you're fuck buddy is going to show up and ask your fiance where you are. This is a sticky situation, trust me.

My mom and me are just sitting there, and then this early thirty-somethng woman shows up at the winery asks where Mark is, and that they have a "meeting" at five o'clock. Little does she know, she is talking to his fiance.
The funny thing of all this is, the woman seemed absolutely clueless as to what this "meeting" was about. She even brought her kids with her. I think somebody was trying to pull a fast one.
Seriously, I highly doubt my mom was born yestersday, but then again...what do I know?