I hate the way this world is turning. I wish life wasn't so difficult, but then again, who am I to say what is should or shouldn't be? Am I worthy of such a thing? The days seem to drag on and on and on, and school seems to never end.
I know this sounds silly, but I sometimes wish I had been adopted into another family at birth. I often wonder what I would be like if my life wasn't so screwed up, if my mother wasn't manipulative and superficial, and my father hadn't of done the thing(s) he did. Don't get me wrong, I love my parents, but what if I had never gone through that divorce that left my family so broken? Would I be a better person? Would I be less of a freak? Would I have ever had Ana? WOULD I BE HAPPY?
There is a plus side to all of this shit though. If all I had ever known was happiness, I would be very naive. I'm happy that I know as much as I do, if only I didn't have to learn it the hard way. I don't feel sorry for myself at all, nor have I ever, but sometimes I just wish the world was different. Hell, I wish my life was different sometimes.
The better me would be born and raised in the city. Screw this small town and all its bullshit!
The better me would be strong, emotionally and phyically.
The better me would be smarter, in more ways than one.
The better me would be better, period.
No comments:
Post a Comment